The Power of NO

I was raised to be respectful, nice, and remain humble. As a result, I developed a sincere heart for helping people and was generous with saying YES because I thought it was the right thing to do. Somewhere along the way, I assumed I was required to say "Yes" everytime someone asked me to do something. I would look past my own sacrifice/limitations and give a yes without fully thinking out the consequences of that yes. I thought saying no didn't demonstrate being respectful, nice, or humble. Well, through many unfortunate situations, I've learned a hard lesson in life. No matter how sincere or well-intentioned your yes is, if you have the slightest belief that you cannot live up to that yes, don't give it. Atleast not right away. There's no benefit in saying yes if you can't follow through. Being only one person, you can only do so much. It's impossible to follow through on every yes if you give it out too generously. Take time to evaluate what's attached to the yes. Treat every yes like a contract. Once you sign YES with your mouth, you're locked in buddy lol! 

Being an exceptionally talented person with a heart to give, I've ALWAYS been heavily pulled on by people. And being the type of person I was, I tried to help everybody who pulled on me lol! This became even more of a problem after I started doing music Full-Time in 2011. Being new to business WITH a high demand, I was making mistakes left and right. I was taking every opportunity that was handed to me. I overextended and overdrafted my YES account too many times to mention. I often found myself over obligated musically. I had so much obligational weight on my shoulders that I wasn't even inspired to create. Stress is the best way to kill creativity. As a result, deadlines weren't met, word was not honored, customers were lost, and "unreliable" became stapled to my name. None of this was because I was a bad person or anything like that. You can be a great person with a horrible reputation if you say yes too much. People take your word seriously. Too much yes will cause you and others hurt when you don't follow through. People determine your character by what you DO, not your intentions. 

It took me MANY years and situations to learn lol, but I'm a lot more generous with NO now. I only get involved in things I know I can handle. Anything else, I give an immediate no. Right now actually I've been turning down every project I've been offered because I have specific personal/business goals I'm trying to accomplish over the next 8 months (I turn 30 June 2015!!!). Sometimes you have to block everything out in order to get your goals accomplished. Too much yes can be a major distraction when trying to reach your goals. No avoids over obligation, wasted time, and a host of other things. Simply put, every opportunity is NOT for you. You have to be wise when you're constantly being pursued by people. Don't be pressured into a yes. Sometimes people will beg you for a yes until they break you all the way down lol! And when you give them that yes, they're gonna hold you to it just as passionately. Take time to think it out. Tell them you'll get back to them later. No matter who the person is, how much money is involved, etc., you can't do everything. You can't get too wrapped up in thinking you'll offend someone by saying no and then obligate yourself when you know you can't perform. Nobody likes no lol! People will be upset at your NO, but they can respect no a lot better than a yes with no follow through. Take it from somebody who's learned the hard way lol. If you want people to get an accurate picture of your character and what you're really about, be very selective with your YES. Remember, it's like a contract! When in doubt, just say NO. 

9 comments

  • Adam Williams

    Adam Williams Dallas,TX

    I definitely needed this one!!

    I definitely needed this one!!

  • Noahj

    Noahj Pa

    Thanks. I relate and this does help. Appreciate your transparency Tone.

    Thanks. I relate and this does help. Appreciate your transparency Tone.

  • Kello

    Kello VA

    yeah this describes a situation I'm going through right now so i appreciate you for sharing this , now I know exactly what to do. goodlooking out bruh

    yeah this describes a situation I'm going through right now so i appreciate you for sharing this , now I know exactly what to do. goodlooking out bruh

  • Draetown

    Draetown Detroit/DC

    Great lesson! #preach

    Great lesson! #preach

  • Hue

    Hue Columbia SC

    Yeah, I've been learning this for sometime now. I'm learning to carefully evaluate before just saying yes. Keeps you and your character intact.

    Yeah, I've been learning this for sometime now. I'm learning to carefully evaluate before just saying yes. Keeps you and your character intact.

  • Donovan

    Donovan Atlanta, GA

    Needed that. Just had a 2 hour conversation about that exact thing. Great post!

    Needed that. Just had a 2 hour conversation about that exact thing.

    Great post!

  • nova

    nova phoenix

    Great tip!

    Great tip!

  • Gasffer

    Gasffer

    I'm definitely a yes person and that been causing me crazy amount of stress. I been spread too thin too many times and I am not going back down that road again. It was getting so bad to the point where I can't sit and create anymore. I needed this, thank you. God bless

    I'm definitely a yes person and that been causing me crazy amount of stress. I been spread too thin too many times and I am not going back down that road again. It was getting so bad to the point where I can't sit and create anymore. I needed this, thank you. God bless

  • Kevin

    Kevin Georgia

    Tone, that was pure wisdom Bro...humility is about being truthful, and saying yes to everything is false humility. Thanks a lot for sharing!

    Tone, that was pure wisdom Bro...humility is about being truthful, and saying yes to everything is false humility. Thanks a lot for sharing!

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